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Great Reasons for Common Courtesies to Still Matter

By July 5, 2026July 31st, 20268 Comments
A man holding the door open for a woman to enter a building

In the fast-paced world we live in, it feels as though some common courtesies are quietly fading from everyday life. Perhaps they are considered old-fashioned or outdated, but I’d like to make the case for paying attention to them. Why? It’s simple, really. Common courtesies are ways of showing respect, kindness, and consideration for others.

What Are Common Courtesies?

Maybe you’re not sure what common courtesies are. They are small actions that acknowledge another person’s needs. Typically, they take only a few seconds and cost nothing. They sound pretty terrific, don’t they?

My mother was a stickler for all the courtesies I will talk about. She let the five of us (her children) know that no matter how old (or young) we were, she expected us to have good manners, be polite, and treat everyone with respect. My brothers, sisters, and I were quietly reminded, if we happened to forget, to practice one of the following common courtesies.

As you read through them, think about how it feels when you are on the receiving end.

Common Courtesies We Should Never Outgrow

Hold the Door for the Person Behind You

When you walk through a door, hold it open, even if you aren’t sure someone is behind you. This way, the door doesn’t close quickly. Sometimes we are so focused on what we’re thinking about or where we’re going that we don’t notice the person behind us. If you create the habit of always holding the door, then when someone happens to be there, you are showing consideration.

Let People Exit Before You Enter

There are many places where it is polite to let people exit before you enter. Let’s start with elevators. An elevator is typically a small space. If you start walking in before giving people a chance to exit, you create an unnecessary traffic jam.

Buses, trains, subways, and even store entrances are all places where it’s a good common courtesy to allow people to exit first. Another helpful tip is to stand to one side of the entrance. In the United States, for example, we generally stay to the right. This provides room for others to exit comfortably.

Wait Patiently in Line

We live in an age of instant results. We get answers to our questions quickly and can find almost anything online within seconds. We have become accustomed to not waiting, which can make standing in line a challenge.

When there is a line, people often complain. I would suggest that waiting your turn patiently is a sign of respect for those around you. Complaining loudly will not make the line move faster, nor will it endear you to the people waiting nearby.

Offer Your Seat to Someone Who Needs It More

Are you old enough to remember when people automatically offered their seat on a bus, subway, or train to older adults, pregnant women, people with mobility challenges, or someone carrying a small child?

The next time you see someone who may need a seat more than you do, consider offering yours. It is a simple but meaningful common courtesy.

Be Punctual

Being on time for appointments is a sign of respect for the person you are meeting. I’ve talked about waiting in line, but what about waiting for someone to arrive for lunch, dinner, or a show?

A sense of time is something many people struggle with. If that sounds familiar, try setting alarms or reminders so you leave home with enough time to travel to your destination.

Use “Please,” “Thank You,” and “Excuse Me”

These simple phrases never go out of style. I recently wrote about the importance of writing thank-you notes. It’s equally important to use polite words when interacting with others.

Make eye contact when asking for something, thanking someone, or trying to get someone’s attention. Eye contact communicates sincerity and respect.

Common Courtesies in the Digital Age

Put the Phone Away During Conversations

Even though we can communicate with others anytime and anywhere through text messages, it is courteous to put your phone away when speaking with someone in person.

Consider silencing your phone or putting it out of sight so you can be fully present. Giving someone your complete attention is one of the greatest signs of respect.

Respond to Messages

Goodwill is created when you acknowledge receiving a message. Even when I don’t have an answer, I like to let the sender know I received their message and am thinking about it. Sometimes a simple thumbs-up emoji or the words “Got it” are enough.

When messages go unanswered, people may wonder whether the message was lost or whether they are being ignored. Neither feels particularly good.

Why Common Courtesy Benefits Everyone

It Creates Positive Connections

Research shows that small positive interactions not only bring joy to another person but also boost your own sense of well-being. Smiling at someone on the street, offering a compliment, or showing a small kindness benefits both people involved.

It Sets an Example

When you consistently extend common courtesies to others, children and those around you notice. Courtesy is contagious.

It Costs Nothing

None of these actions cost anything beyond a little thought and a few seconds of your time. No special skills or training are required. Anyone can practice common courtesies.

Conclusion

As I was writing this blog post, more and more examples of common courtesies came to mind. Each one is a small act, yet each has the potential to make life a little easier for someone else.

I thought about how I always pick up after my dog. Some people in my neighborhood do not, and it bothers me. Then there are the grocery carts left loose in parking lots, ready to roll into someone’s car. Returning a cart takes only a minute or two, and I’m sometimes tempted not to when I’m in a hurry. Still, I return it because I don’t want to be the person who leaves the task for someone else.

That may be the heart of common courtesies. They remind us that we share our communities with other people and that our actions affect those around us. In a world that often feels rushed and disconnected, these simple gestures create a little more kindness, consideration, and connection. While common courtesies may seem small, their impact is anything but.

Ready to create a calmer, more connected life?

Small actions often lead to meaningful change. Whether it’s organizing your home, managing your time more effectively, or building routines that support your goals, thoughtful habits make a difference. If you’re ready to create more order, less stress, and greater ease in your daily life, I’d love to help. Contact me to learn more about my organizing services, classes, and support programs.

FAQs

Why are common courtesies important?
Common courtesies demonstrate respect, kindness, and consideration for others. They help create positive interactions and stronger communities.

Are common courtesies old-fashioned?
Some people may view them that way, but courtesy never goes out of style. The methods may change, but showing respect for others remains important.

What are examples of common courtesies?
Holding doors, saying “please” and “thank you,” waiting your turn, arriving on time, responding to messages, and offering help to someone who needs it are all examples.

Do common courtesies matter in the digital world?
Absolutely. Responding to messages, giving people your full attention during conversations, and practicing respectful online communication are modern forms of courtesy.

How can parents teach common courtesies to children?
Children learn best by example. Consistently modeling respectful behavior and polite language helps children develop those habits naturally.

author avatar
Diane Quintana Professional Organizer
Diane N. Quintana is a Certified Professional Organizer®, ICD® Master Trainer, owner of DNQ Solutions, LLC, and co-owner of Release Repurpose Reorganize. Based in Atlanta, she specializes in helping clients with ADHD, hoarding behaviors, autism, and chronic disorganization. Diane is the author of five books and a contributor to ICD’s latest publication on chronic disorganization, where she wrote the chapter on Aging. She is the current President of the Institute for Challenging Disorganization and is passionate about teaching practical organizing strategies that stick. Please reach out to Diane today for help with getting your life or business organized.

8 Comments

  • I love this post, Diane, because you are explaining how to organize and maintain society, and in effect, the Social Contract as laid out by Jean-Jacques Rousseau. Each of us maintains our personal humanity and our social connection by holding up our ends of the bargain to treat each other with decency and respect.

    As much as I love social media, I think the pseudo-anonymity of it has made people more willing to be rude and mean when communicating, and that bleeds into all of the other areas of life. All of the courtesies you describe give us the opportunity to not only show others that we are respectful, but they give us the chance to remind ourselves to have self-respect, and to show others that which we’d expect for ourselves. Great reminders!

  • Common courtesies are not so common anymore. I love this post because you highlight how beneficial it is for givers and receivers to engage in this simple, yet far-reaching habits. Wouldn’t it be something if this type of teaching was integrated into school and home life.

    It sounds like you grew up with this by regular example and direction from your mom. Not only did she model the behavior, but she set the expectations for you to follow it, too. Those simple couretsies are the grease that keeps our relationships flowing. They are also ways to bring joy to people, even strangers.

    I typically smile or say hi to people as I pass them by when walking. I love watching someone’s face change as they release the somber or neutral expression to warm and happy when they smile back. It’s a beautiful feel-good moment to be part of.

  • Thank you for this reminder. It used to be that I just expected to see these common courtesies. Now, I notice them because they are not expected. The “excuse me” if you are bumped or the smile when holding open the door are some examples.
    The newer examples like responding in a timely manner to texts and emails are important to me. I respect people’s time boundaries and do not expect an immediate response but do like to see one in a 24-hour time slot.

  • I’d like to tack something onto your list that piggybacks off of two of these: If someone holds a door for you, thank them! Don’t be like the young woman I held a door for a few months ago who just walked by without even looking at me, as if I was the hired doorperson. Being rude doesn’t benefit anyone!

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