Everyone has habits. If we are honest with ourselves, we can acknowledge that some habits are ones that help us and others are not helpful at all. In fact, some of our habits can be downright counterproductive. Because they are habits, things we do automatically without thinking, how can we know which habits are good to cultivate and which ones to work on removing.
Why Habits Are Good to Cultivate, But Not All Habits Serve You Well
Habits are the behaviors you do without thinking. Some of them are good and those are the behaviors to cultivate. They support you and help you accomplish the things you set out to do. Other habits may be sabotaging your daily life.
For example, if you’re in the habit of putting the keys in a dish on the table by the front door this habit or automatic behavior helps you know where they are. You don’t need to wonder. This gives you a sense of security.
On the other hand, if you come home and put your keys down on any horizontal surface you will probably spend time hunting for your keys when you want to leave your home. This is stressful and is a habit which does not serve you well.
Paying attention to the automatic behaviors or habits which help you is the first step along the way to knowing which habits you want to change.
Signs That Habits Are Good to Cultivate
How do you know which habits are good to cultivate?
I’m so glad you asked!
Habits that make life easier and more efficient are the ones to encourage.
Notice if you have places to put your belongings, like your keys in the example above. This makes life easier because you don’t struggle finding ways to put things away or finding them when you want them. This in turn reduces stress and decision fatigue.
Another side effect of good habits is that you have less clutter, and your home is more orderly. When you consistently put things away and attend to tasks, you have less stuff hanging around, less to deal with, and fewer delayed decisions.
Which Habits Are NOT Good to Cultivate
Habits that are not good to cultivate are ones that end up creating more work for you later. Procrastination is an example of a habit that works against you.
Here’s an example of what happens when someone is in the habit of procrastinating: Let’s pretend that you brought home the groceries and left them on the kitchen counter. You sat down to take a break and spent time looking at social media on your phone. Then you opened a box that was outside your door. It was a tablecloth you ordered so you decided to put it on the dining table. But first you must take everything off the table. There are piles of paper on the table as well as other things you told yourself you would put there for now. As you’re taking the things off the dining table, you notice the grocery bags you left on the kitchen counter.
Maybe you feel overwhelmed and don’t know where to begin to create order out of all these delayed decisions.
Being aware of what you did that contributed to this problem is a beginning.
Remember to grant yourself grace and tackle this one task at a time. The important thing is that you complete each task before moving on to the next one.
A Simple Way to Evaluate Your Habits
The best way to evaluate your habits is to ask a series of questions.
Ask yourself:
- Does this habit make my life easier or harder?
- Does it move me forward or keep me stuck?
- Would I recommend this habit to someone else?
Tip: Write down 3 daily habits and evaluate them
Habits Are Good to Cultivate When They Align with Your Intentions
Think about the things you want to accomplish and, most importantly, your reasons. Then think through your day and ask if your automatic behaviors support your intentions or if they work against you. Your habits should support what matters most.
Let’s imagine that your intention is to have a calmer home, so you decide to cultivate the habit of a daily evening reset of your kitchen and family room.
Or maybe you decide your intention is to have less clutter in your home, so you decide to cultivate a habit of identifying clutter and removing it from your home.
Small automatic habits create big changes over time.
How to Replace Habits That No Longer Serve You
When you’ve decided to replace the habits that no longer serve you, it’s important to pair a new habit with a familiar routine.
For example, if you have coffee with your breakfast, run the dishwasher in the evening and then empty it in the morning while your coffee is brewing.
If you like to watch television in the evening, fold and put away the laundry while enjoying a show. You can pause the show while you put the laundry away.
It often helps to post notes to remind yourself of the things you want to do.
Celebrate every time you are successful. Give yourself a pat on the back and tell yourself out loud how proud you are of yourself!
Practice Good Habits Consistently
The more you practice the habits you want to cultivate, the more automatic they become. Every time you intentionally practice these habits the neural pathways grow stronger. It may feel uncomfortable at first as you work to change these habits. But if this is what you truly want to do, sit with the feeling of discomfort. Remind yourself that it takes time to make these habits automatic.
Final Thoughts: Choose Your Habits Intentionally
Just because you have a particular habit that doesn’t serve you well does not mean you’re stuck with it forever. You have the power to change your habits. Having said that, decide which habits you want to change, understand why you want to change them, then pick one to start with.
Ready to Build Habits That Truly Support You?
If you’re ready to stop feeling stuck and start making steady, meaningful progress, you don’t have to do it alone.
Jonda Beattie and I are offering a 12-week virtual course designed to help you:
- Build habits that are good to cultivate and let go of the ones that hold you back
- Create simple, sustainable routines that work in your real life
- Reduce clutter and overwhelm—one step at a time
- Stay accountable with guidance and a supportive community
This isn’t about quick fixes. It’s about lasting change.
Join us and give yourself the structure, support, and encouragement you need to move forward with confidence.
FAQs
1. Why are habits good to cultivate?
Habits are good to cultivate because they reduce decision fatigue and make daily tasks more automatic. When your habits support your goals, they help you stay organized, reduce stress, and create consistency in your routines.
2. How can I tell if a habit is helping or hurting me?
Ask yourself if the habit makes your life easier or more difficult. Habits that are good to cultivate support your intentions, save you time, and reduce overwhelm. Habits that create clutter, delay decisions, or add stress may need to be replaced.
3. What is the best way to start building better habits?
Start small. Focus on one habit at a time and practice it consistently. Habits are good to cultivate when they are simple, repeatable, and realistic for your lifestyle.
4. How long does it take to change a habit?
There’s no exact timeline, but consistency is key. The more often you practice a new behavior, the more natural it becomes. Habits are good to cultivate when you commit to practicing them regularly rather than striving for perfection.
5. What should I do if I fall back into old habits?
Be kind to yourself and start again. Habit change is not linear. Recognizing that a habit no longer serves you is progress. Refocus on habits that are good to cultivate and take the next small step forward.
I’m with you. I have excellent habits that keep me productive and ahead of the game, and I have less appealing habits. My space is organized and I never procrastinate on what I must do for others; but I definitely procrastinate on tasks that serve only my own needs.
Most of my space-related habitual behaviors are intentional, but that’s not so true of my time-related habits. One of my habitual behaviors (in modern parlance: “revenge bedtime procrastination”) come from an innate difficulty in the first place. I don’t fall asleep easily, and I hate that powerless feeling of not being able to get to sleep, so push it off, later and later, so that when I finally do try to sleep, it’s easier. I’m definitely better at cultivating (and sticking to) good habits than crushing bad ones.
I’m sure your 12-week virtual class with Jonda will be EXCELLENT!
Thank you so much, Julie
We tend to think of bad habits like smoking or good habits like brushing our teeth before bed, but you make it clear that habits enter every inch of our lives! I’m going to pay more attention to mine and see if there are any I might consider changing.
Thanks, Janet!
This post is great for anyone, from kids to older adults. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Diane.
Reviewing your habits will help you be present in your day. We tend to go into autopilot each day, and some of those habits could be causing low energy, stress, anxiety, etc.
I like that you mentioned sitting with the feeling of discomfort. No one wants to feel pain. But by feeling the pain, we can see what is going on more clearly. The pain could be a result of something external happening in one’s life. If we don’t sit with it to figure it out, we may jump to changing something that may not be needed.
Thanks, Sabrina
A good reminder that habits can be good or bad. And that when getting rid of a bad habit, you will want to replace it with a good habit.
Thank you, Jonda
I like this term “automatic behaviors.” It really emphasizes how much we perform habitual behaviors without thought!
The three questions you shared are great. I especially like that one about would I recommend this habit to someone else. That’s very thought provoking.
I think your course sounds like a great idea. At that length, it will really help people fully develop the routines. Cheers to good routines!
Thank you, Seana!