As human beings, we are gatherers. Gathering things to support the way we live and to have things we love around us is something almost all of us do. What happens when the things we gathered grow into a huge collection? The collections can take over our space, making it crowded. It can feel like an overwhelmingly difficult task to reduce collections, even when we know they have grown beyond what we can realistically enjoy. How do we decide what to give away when we love everything we’ve gathered?
Do you remember your favorite stuffed animal? The one you needed nearby to feel safe or comforted as a child.
My son, Andy, had one. It was a rabbit he called Bunny. Bunny went everywhere with Andy for years. Some parts were rubbed completely bare from love, while other parts were patched with random bits of fabric.
Andy’s Bunny always reminded me of The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams – a story that beautifully illustrates how love allows us to look past imperfections and see only beauty. But this idea can become problematic when it shows up in adulthood as anthropomorphizing objects and believing we must keep everything, so we don’t hurt its feelings.
It’s Hard to Reduce Collections When You Love Everything
We collect things because we love them. Maybe we love the way something looks or maybe we like the way something feels. No matter the reason, if we apply an emotional meaning to the things we collect it’s hard to be objective when we think about reducing the collection.
As we start looking through our collections we probably indulge in a conversation with ourselves.
The conversation may sound like this.
We say to ourselves:
“I loved this once.” Followed by “Remember how beautiful it was when it was new.”
“This was expensive.” Followed by “I can’t let it go, that would be like throwing all that money away.”
“I’ll feel guilty if I let it go.” Followed by “It belonged to Great-Aunt Suzie. She would hate it if I gave this away.”
Once we engage in a conversation of this nature, all we can do is walk away because the task is overwhelming.
Anthropomorphizing Objects Keeps Us Stuck
I overheard a client talking to some framed photos one day as they were emptying a box. The client told them that they were sure the photos were happy to be out of the box and with their family again. The client went on to say they would find a good place to hang them.
We travel down a slippery slope when we assign feelings to objects. It is next to impossible to reduce collections when you are making decisions with your emotions. Letting the belongings go can feel like you’re betraying them.
The truth is that objects don’t have emotions and can’t feel rejected.
Another truth is that people often feel lighter when they create space in their home to notice and enjoy the things they have.
This mindset shift is often the key to decluttering collections without guilt.
The Hidden Cost of Keeping Everything
As time goes on it becomes harder and harder to keep all of every collection. If you have a large home and space to display all these things, that’s great. But even then, things take time and energy to maintain. Plus, all these things create visual and mental clutter.
Many people don’t stop loving their large collections, but they do stop enjoying them.
Try This Strategy to Reduce a Collection
One of the most effective strategies to reduce collections is to keep a small sample of the things you love instead of everything you own.
What does keeping a sample mean?
Well, you begin by reviewing the entire collection. Then you select a very few to represent the bulk of what you have amassed.
How do you do this when you like everything?
Here are my suggestions:
- Ask yourself if you will buy this again?
- Is this worthy of display?
- Is it damaged or not as good as other items in the collection?
- Are there some that are similar?
- Are there some that were given to you but that you don’t like as much?
This approach honors what you love without overwhelming your space.
Letting Go Doesn’t Erase the Memory
Remember that memories live in experiences, not objects. If you are fearful that you’ll forget the memory because it’s tied to an object, take a picture and then write down the story. You can create a book of photos and stories to reminisce.
Loving Less So You Can Love Better
Andy’s Bunny was special because he wasn’t one of many. He was irreplaceable.
Our belongings become meaningful in the same way when we choose them intentionally. Reducing collections allows us to see and appreciate what we truly love instead of feeling buried by everything we own.
You don’t have to love everything you have.
Decide to love a few things well.
In Conclusion
If you struggle to reduce collections because decision-making feels overwhelming, emotional, or exhausting, you’re not alone, and you don’t have to do it by yourself.
I help people with ADHD and hoarding behaviors:
- Break decisions into manageable steps
- Reduce collections without shame or pressure
- Create homes that feel calm, functional, and supportive
You don’t need to love everything you own to live well.
You just need support choosing what truly matters.
Reach out to me for a free telephone consultation. You can reach me at: 678-537-1160 or email: diane@dnqsolutions.com
FAQs
Is reducing collections the same as getting rid of everything?
No. Reducing collections is about keeping what truly matters and letting go of excess, not eliminating joy.
What if every item feels special?
That’s a sign the collection has grown beyond a manageable size. Keeping a sample helps you rediscover what you love most.
Why does personifying objects make decluttering harder?
When you assign emotions to objects, letting go feels like a moral failure instead of a practical choice.
How do I decide what to keep when reducing collections?
Start with favorites you would replace first if they were lost. Those are usually your true keepers.
What if I regret letting things go?
Regret is rare when decisions are made intentionally. Most people feel relief, clarity, and renewed appreciation for what remains.
“Loving less so that you can love better” is a beautiful way of saying it. Keeping everything brings the most-loved items down to the level of the least-loved; it’s along the lines of “if everything is a priority then nothing is.” I really appreciate the way you’ve walked through all of this.
One last idea which I think dovetails with what you’ve said. When we actively work to decide what representative, best-loved items of a collection we’ll keep, we’re ensuring that we get to control the process. Too often, people fail to make any decisions until they are too old, ill, or infirm to control the decision-making process, and the decisions are made by someone who, no matter how well intentioned, doesn’t have the same emotional connection to the most important items and may make decisions that fail to honor those sentiments.
Your approach honors the items, the owner, and the history, and makes it easier (if not always easy) to let go and move forward.
That’s a great point, Julie.
This post really resonated for me Diane! I always tell folks to “start with their treasures” and I love your focus on The Hidden Cost of Keeping Everything. An important point that is often overlooked. :-)
Thank you, Pam.
I love that you mentioned, “We feel lighter when we create space in the home to notice and enjoy the things they have.” I create a lot of upcycling projects on my blog, turning trash items (tin cans, glass jars, etc.) into useful things. While I loved them all, last year I decided to get rid of them all. It made me feel free and lighter, and allowed my creativity to return. Sometimes holding on to items can even stop you from moving forward. But we do not know that until we get rid of some or all the items. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Diane. Your blog is always an enjoyable read.
Wow, Sabrina! That was huge.
I so identify with this post, Diane. Both my husband and I have collections…many different collections. However, there is only so much space, so we can’t keep adding. What’s more, we’re at a stage in life where I’d like to own less, not more. Because when we’re gone, our kiddos aren’t going to want all of our stuff.
Two things I collect are miniatures and Pez dispensers. Both have been edited over the years. Most recently, I edited the Pez dispensers during a painting project. The cabinet they sit on, needed to be moved. That caused a domino effect of many Pez dispensers falling over. It presented me the opportunity to take them all down, clean them, and decide who ‘deserved’ to go back up. About a dozen were put away, and now I’m enjoying the collection even more.
I love that you took advantage of the opportunity to closely examine your collection, Linda. Thank you for sharing!
One of the tough things about having a collection is feeling like it must remain intact. I’ve faced this a few times.
I used to collect commemorative tins which I used in place of canisters in my kitchen. When I stopped using them for storage, I placed them on top of the kitchen cabinets – both sides of the room. Eventually I sorted through them and got rid of enough to fit them all on one side, keeping only those that were really special, attractive, or useful.
My mother had a number of books by one of her favourite authors (not a matching set). After she passed, I took them all and purchased more. It took me more than 20 years to part with any of them, and I’ve had to release them one by one.
It’s not easy, and I admire your ability to help others with these decisions, especially the emotional ones.
You are so right, Janet. This is difficult work.
Love your strategies for helping reduce collections. Each person is unique and needs to decide that they are ready to let go of some items.
I had always had cats in my life and enjoyed them. I had a few wooden or ceramic cats that made me smile. But because of that friends and family started giving me cat stuff to display for my birthday or Christmas. The collection grew and I even bought a special bookcase just to display these items. The last time I moved I did not have a space for that bookcase, and I was just tired of all of those items. I kept a few and got rid of the rest. I also let friends and family know what I had done and to please not give me anymore.
It’s such a good idea to let family members know when you’ve stopped collecting something. This gives them permission to stop adding to your collection. Thank you, Jonda.
This is such a true statement you made: “The truth is that objects don’t have emotions and can’t feel rejected.” It seems so obvious, and yet we fall into this perspective sometimes.
I know many people who enjoyed their collections when they began, but over time, they have become a burden. When people hear you collect things, they start adding to your collection. It can quickly become too much. I love your idea of keeping a sample. Keep the favorites. Get back to a collection that is manageable and pleasurable.
The issue of people in our lives being upset if we get rid of something they gave us is a tough one. Part of the “gift” should be permission to do whatever we want with the object – no strings attached. It isn’t kind to burden people with expectations for our gifts.
I completely agree, Seana.