This year I have gone to — and will attend — many events. Some of the events I am planning and executing, and some I am attending as a guest. No matter how much careful preparation a person does, event planning creates stress. I’m sure that if you have ever planned a gathering, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
It doesn’t matter if the party is for family, friends, or business associates, the planner stresses over the details.
The question is: Can you eliminate stress from event planning?
I believe it is possible, but it requires a change in mindset.
First, let’s review what’s involved in planning an event.
Begin Event Planning with the End in Mind
Jonda Beattie and I call this backwards planning.
Start event planning by envisioning how you want the event to look and feel when your guests arrive. This applies to everything from the smallest family dinner to a large corporate gathering.
Once you have a clear vision, it’s time to crunch some numbers.
How much money do you have available to make your vision come to life? Is your vision realistic, or do you need to scale it back a bit?
Once you’ve determined your vision and created a reasonable budget, the next step in event planning is deciding when and where the event will take place.
Date and Location
The date and location often go hand in hand.
Sometimes it’s easiest to decide when you will have the event and then determine the location based on what is available at that time. You will also want to have a general idea of how many people may attend because the number of guests will influence the space you choose.
Two of my nieces are getting married this summer. Securing the location for the wedding and reception was a challenge for both of them, even though they started the process more than a year in advance.
One of my nieces chose to move her wedding day to a Friday because the venue she and her fiancé wanted was not available on the weekend they had in mind.
Jonda, on the other hand, is planning a family reunion at her home, so determining the location and date was easy. She also has a good idea of who will attend.
Details in Event Planning
Once the basics are decided, it’s time to focus on the details you can control.
The Program
Every event has a program. The program is what draws people to your event.
It can be as simple as inviting a few people for dinner or as complex as a multi-day conference. In every case, the people attending should know what is going on.
They need to know where to go, when to be there, and what to expect. Clear communication removes uncertainty and helps everyone relax, participate, and enjoy the experience.
The Menu
If it is a small gathering, like dinner with family, you probably already know the foods people enjoy and whether anyone has food allergies or intolerances.
Planning the menu for a large event can be more complicated. Here are a few tips to reduce stress during this part of the event planning process:
- Avoid foods that are overly spicy. People can always add spice with condiments.
- Offer enough variety so everyone can create a satisfying meal regardless of dietary preferences.
- Clearly label dishes: Gluten Free, Vegan, Vegetarian, etc.
And remember, you will not be able to please everyone, and that’s okay.
Decorations
Compared to planning the program and menu, decorations are a smaller part of event planning, but they do set the tone visually.
If the event is formal or serious, the décor may be more subdued.
If it is a themed celebration, such as a Halloween party, you can go all out with decorations and music.
At the very least, you’ll want a pleasant table setting and a centerpiece or flowers that reflect the theme of the event.
Entertainment
You may not need entertainment beyond the program itself, but music often enhances the atmosphere.
If you hire live musicians, take time to preview their work. Watch videos and provide a list of songs you would like included.
If you plan to use recorded music, be sure you understand any licensing or usage requirements.
What-If Worries in Event Planning
There are always things to worry about during event planning. However, contingency planning can help reduce stress.
Have backup plans for your backup plans.
For example, during a multi-day conference, what happens if a presenter becomes ill? You hope that never happens, but having a contingency plan can keep the event running smoothly.
Or imagine a wedding where the florist does not deliver the bouquets on time. A simple backup could be purchasing flowers from a grocery store and assembling bouquets yourself with ribbon.
Thinking through possible “what if” scenarios in advance allows you to respond calmly if something unexpected occurs.
Things You Can’t Control in Event Planning
Some things are simply beyond your control.
You can’t control the weather. If your event is outdoors, renting a tent can help if it rains.
You can’t control major storms. In those situations, the event may have to be cancelled.
You can’t control illness. People sometimes get sick and cannot attend.
And perhaps the hardest thing to accept — you can’t control what people think.
The goal of event planning is to give people a positive experience. If most of your guests leave happy, then your event has been a success.
Final Thoughts
There are many aspects of event planning that you can control. Even so, something may not go exactly as planned.
The important thing to remember is that you are the only one who knows exactly what was planned.
You eliminate stress from event planning when you:
- Plan thoughtfully
- Create backup plans
- And then allow yourself to let go
Let the event unfold knowing you have done everything in your power to make it successful.
If you are planning an event and would like guidance organizing the details, I would be happy to help.
Reach out to schedule a free 30-minute phone consultation:
diane@dnqsolutions.com
FAQs
What is the most important first step in event planning?
The most important step in event planning is starting with a clear vision of how you want the event to look and feel. This helps guide decisions about budget, location, and program.
How far in advance should event planning begin?
For large events like weddings or conferences, planning often begins 12–18 months in advance. Smaller gatherings may only require a few weeks of preparation.
How can I reduce stress during event planning?
Stress during event planning can be reduced by planning early, creating a realistic budget, making detailed checklists, and preparing backup plans for unexpected situations.
What details matter most in event planning?
The most important elements are the program, location, guest experience, and clear communication about what guests should expect.
What should I do if something goes wrong during an event?
Focus on solutions rather than the problem. Most guests will not notice small issues, and having contingency plans makes it easier to adapt.
As much as I love helping clients brainstorm and organize their event planning, you could not pay me to organize something more complicated than a handful of people meeting up a restaurant, and even that is beyond what I want to do! Too many variables, and too many people having opinions! I think I either want to be in control of everything or nothing. ;-)
However, the method you describe is exactly what I teach my clients, and it’s exactly how I learned event-related planning from my mother. She not only planned my bat mitzvah and both my sister’s and my Sweet 16 parties (my sister’s at a swanky venue; mine eleven years later at home), but she also planned and oversaw my father’s political fundraisers every four years for decades. She started with the end in mind, and was meticulous about working backward with every detail.
You’ve identified the perfect way to plan an event without stress, second only to not ever holding an event!
I love party planning. It is so much fun, and we have hosted many parties, big and small, over the years.
I like to add little details like favor gifts for larger parties. Things like playing a fun round of a dinner table game for smaller parties. We love to cook, and our family has many food sensitivities, so making meals from scratch is very important to my husband and me. A little time prepping and cooking saved us a lot of money over the years.
Suppose people want to bring something. Allow them. You can ask them to bring drinks and chairs if there are people with food allergies.
Oh, wow, Diane! This one resonates with me as we just had our Passover Seder this past weekend. I looked in my file and realized it was the 19th one we’ve hosted in the past 28 years. Steve and I have hosted many events, parties, and celebrations (including Passover). And everything you said in service of reducing stress is so true.
The planning piece is essential. Delegating and knowing who will do or bring what is part of that. Having help before, during, and after the event also helps to reduce stress. Because you know what? You can’t do everything yourself, or you will end up a giant ball of stress.
Another factor is flexibility. You can plan, plan, plan. But something will change last minute. Someone will get sick or will ask to bring someone extra. Being able to adapt quickly without getting ‘too nuts’ helps keep stress at bay. In fact, expecting that something could happen is so useful. It’s not just having a contingency plan, but also being able to switch gears and not get stuck on what you thought it would be.
The other things that have helped me are to always keep top of mind what’s most important: welcoming family and friends into our home, giving them a space to enjoy each other’s company, connecting with my loved ones, and not being stressed myself. Because if the hosts are stressed, the guests will feel it. So the more I can do to be ready in advance of their arrival, the more I’ll be able to enjoy their company and the event.
Lastly, it’s good to have tools to navigate other people’s stress. Because even though you can’t change what someone else is feeling, you can change how you react to it. Slow intentional breathing, taking a moment to step outside (or into another room), or simply acknowledging someone else’s experience, can all help.
These are all such great tips, Linda. Thank you for sharing them here.
As you have stated, I am right in the middle of planning my event. Advance planning is so important to reducing the stress.
And then, of course, there are those things you mentioned that you cannot control. Wherever possible, I try to have a Plan B.
But in the end, you just have to roll with whatever happens and enjoy the company.
Thank you, Jonda
This is all such great advice. The more you plan, the less stressful the event will be. Even if you get that bad weather or someone gets sick, it won’t catch you by surprise.
Back when I worked for a startup, I was tasked with make a giant map of everything that could possibly go wrong and problem solving it in advance. In other words, “What will we do if XX happens?” Some of those things did happen after we launched, and I was glad I didn’t have to figure out solutions in the midst of the operation.
Thinking ahead and reviewing the things that can (and most likely will) go wrong is a great way to prevent yourself from getting stuck when something does go wrong!