Breaking Free from Disposaphobia: How to Build the Habit of Letting Go

Don’t you just love the word, disposaphobia – the fear of disposing things? This word sounds fierce and scary. I suppose that’s the intent; to create a word that embodies the fear some people feel when they contemplate letting things go. Why is it that some people fear letting go of their things and how can we build the habit of letting go? These are the questions I am addressing in this post.

How do you think we form the fear of letting go?

Recently, I overheard an exchange between a child and their mother. It went something like this:

The mother and child were in the child’s room and the child tossed a toy in the trash.

Mom: You can’t just throw things away.

Child: I don’t want it anymore. I don’t like it, and I don’t want it in my room.

The child left the room, and the mother retrieved the toy from the trash and put it back in the toy basket.

From my way of thinking, the mom may have said to the child that it’s ok to not want something and instead of throwing it away, they can donate it.  Having that conversation builds the habit of letting go.

Instead, this child is learning to keep things, even if they don’t want them.

Understanding Disposaphobia: Why Is It Hard to Let Go?

Much of what we do is learned behavior. We either copy people we respect and want to be like when we’re adults or we notice behaviors we don’t like and do our best not to exhibit them. Children watch, listen to, and copy their parents. That’s one of the reasons that adults whose parents lived through the Great Depression save so much. They learned not to let things go because they may need it – someday.

Here are some common reasons people struggle to part with items:

• Emotional attachment: the item reminds them of a special event or person and has sentimental value. Letting the item go makes the person think they are also letting go of the memory.
• Fear of waste: This is belief that the item might be useful later.
• Anxiety over making the wrong decision.

Unfortunately, disposaphobia leads to over-saving which causes clutter to build up. This is stressful for you because things get lost in clutter. Hunting for things you need wastes time and energy. Let’s change the behavior and build the habit of letting go.

Shift Your Mindset and Reframe Letting Go as a Positive Act

Instead of thinking about decluttering and letting go of things as a chore and something to fear, shift your mindset and think about letting go of things as something positive.

Find things that you want to remove from your home that you don’t need, use, or love that will benefit other people or animals. For instance, the towels that were a wedding gift, but which are now a little worn can be donated to an animal shelter. The animals will benefit. Envision a cute puppy or kitten snuggled up in one of your gently worn towels.

The shoes you loved (you felt so marvelous wearing those high heels) but which now hurt your feet, (even when you are just looking at them) can be donated to a Dress for Success donation site. Another woman will be thrilled to have them when she gets dressed up to go on an interview.

Shifting your mindset this way helps to reduce the fear of disposing of your belongings because you are now looking at letting go of things in a positive light.

3 Practical Strategies to Build the Habit of Letting Go

1. Start Small and Stay Consistent

• Pick one day of the week to be a decluttering day. This does not mean you spend the entire day decluttering. This is the day you will take the blinders off and release things you randomly encounter during the day.
• Decide to discard, donate, or recycle at least one item that day. Look for at least one thing that you know you don’t need, use or love.
• Before you buy something, know what you will donate, discard, or recycle (that is also known as the one in, one out rule). It does not need to be a replacement. The idea behind the one in, one out rule is that we make space for something new by removing something already in the house that is not being used.

2. Set Up a Simple System for Letting Go

• Create a donation box and keep it in a visible place. I like to keep a donation box in my closet. If I don’t like an article of clothing, I can simply put it in the box. Then, I take it to the donation site.
• Schedule time to take the things in the donation box to the charity of your choice at least once a month.
• Develop a recycling routine for paper, electronics, and packaging. Find out where you can recycle electronics and other hard to dispose of items in your town.

3. Make It a Positive Experience

• Use a timer. Set your timer for 10 – 30 minutes. Pick one small specific place to begin. When the timer goes off, stop decluttering. You will be amazed by how much you get done in a short amount of time.
• Play music or listen to a podcast or a book to make it enjoyable.
• Reward yourself for progress. Always reward yourself for following through with the task. Even if you didn’t make as much progress as you wanted (or hoped), progress is progress.

Overcoming Common Roadblocks to Decluttering

Think about all the potential roadblocks that you can which may surface in your mind to derail you on your journey. Then, think about what you will do to move past each roadblock. Being prepared for these hurdles will help you to navigate over or around them.  Below are some suggestions to help you.

• “But I Might Need It Someday” → Put it in a box. Label the box with the date. Set a deadline. If unused in a year, it goes.
• Sentimental Attachments → Take photos of special items before letting them go. Consider writing down the stories and then creating a photo album so you can visit the photos and share the stories with others.
• Feeling Overwhelmed → Start small in a spot that you know you can tackle. Be specific with your goal. It may be to clear the surface of a small table or to reduce the pile of books by your bed. Give yourself success to boost your motivation.
• Fear of Waste → Find responsible ways to donate or recycle.

Embrace the Freedom of Less

Letting go isn’t just about reducing what you have, it’s also about bringing space into your home and your life. When you build the habit of letting go, you give yourself space to enjoy the things you love, freedom from worrying about what’s buried in the clutter, and a greater sense of peace. Remember to start small and be patient with yourself. Building a habit, like building muscle, takes time and regular practice.

Email me to schedule a free 30-minute consultation to get specific tips on how you can work on building the habit of letting go. dnqsolutions@gmail.com

Diane N. Quintana is the owner of DNQ Solutions, LLC. She is an ADHD Organizing Specialist, a Hoarding Specialist, and a Chronic Disorganization Specialist. Diane is also an ICD Master Trainer, Certified Professional Organizer in Chronic Disorganization, Certified Professional Organizer and co-owner of Release Repurpose Reorganize LLC based in Atlanta, Georgia. She specializes in residential and home-office organizing.