As a professional organizer I don’t talk very much about discipline. When I was an elementary school teacher discipline was very much part of the curriculum. Children learned how to practice the art of self-discipline; learning to share, take turns, wait to speak, and stand still in line. Recently I wrote about decluttering and how this task can be stressful. Truthfully, every organizing task can be stressful if you approach it from a fear and dread mindset. Desire and deadlines also add to the stress some people feel when they think about organizing. They may want to organize the family room but have put it off. Maybe there is a deadline like family and friends are coming over for dinner tomorrow. That may feel stressful but can also help push someone into action. Let’s take these three Ds (Deadlines, Desire, and Discipline) and look at the ways in which they work together to help us be more organized.
The Power of a Deadline
Why Deadlines Work
Many people will delay working on a task until they feel the urgency of the deadline. Once that deadline is looming right in front of them, they get serious about working on the task. If you are someone who needs a deadline to spur yourself into action, consider creating deadlines for yourself.
How to Use Deadlines to Your Advantage
Let’s imagine you have things that you’d like to get out of your home and garage. These things are too large and heavy for you to take to a local charity or Goodwill yourself, so you schedule a donation pickup. Having this donation pickup on your schedule will create the urgency you need to gather the things in your home together and put them in the garage with the other things you want to donate.
If you want to organize your family room, invite friends and/or family over for dinner. Having this dinner date on your calendar will prompt you to get the organizing done in advance.
Remember that if you want to get something done, you must allocate time to the task.
Block out time in your schedule to do the task.
The Role of Desire
Wanting vs. Willing
Desire is the emotional engine behind change. Someone may want a peaceful home, and even dream about how that could look and feel, but are they willing to take the steps needed?
Maybe the person is willing to take the necessary steps but doesn’t know which step to take first. That can be a major stumbling block.
When this happens, I suggest writing down all the steps you can think of taking and then putting them into sequential order. Or, talking through the steps with a trusted friend. The friend can help figure out which step to take first.
Clarifying Your Why
It’s very important to identify exactly what you want to change and your reason for changing.
Is it a desire for a more peaceful morning? Maybe it’s hard to get everyone out of the house with everything they need to have with them on time.
Does it bother you to walk into the family room and see piles of papers, used glasses, and dirty plates? What’s your vision for this space?
Take out a piece of paper and a pen and describe the changes you want to make. It may involve creating a better routine for the family or perhaps streamlining the organization in one or more parts of your home.
It’s always easier to change something when you are clear with your desires.
The Foundation of Discipline
Discipline Is a Good Thing
Discipline does not always mean to punish. When a person is disciplined, they are consistent. They have a habit of using self-control, blocking out distractions, and prioritizing tasks. It may be easier on the mind to think of discipline as will power.
Part of teaching discipline in school was teaching the children to follow the rules; to raise their hand in class when they have something to say and to take turns among other things.
When I was teaching elementary school, I would remind the children to use their self-discipline to help them focus on the task at hand. This meant they were to pay attention to the work they were doing, not what the child sitting next to them was doing.
Use Self-Discipline
As adults, we sometimes forget that we have this tool of self-discipline at our disposal. We can be disciplined and take care of our work to earn our reward.
My friend and colleague, Jonda Beattie, is building a new habit of incorporating daily exercise. Jonda is incorporating the three Ds: deadline, desire, and discipline. See how she does this. She disciplines herself and does this exercise at the end of her day (deadline). Once that is done, she takes off her shoes, has a cold glass of water, and relaxes. Her reason is to improve and maintain her health (desire).
Building Routines That Stick with Desire, Deadlines, and Discipline
You can apply discipline to organizing when you create simple, easy to follow daily routines. These should be routines that help you maintain order in your home consistently.
For instance, picking up used plates and glasses from the family room in the evening, putting them in the dishwasher, and plumping the cushions will keep the family room looking put together.
Doing a daily wipe down of the kitchen counters will help keep the kitchen counters under control.
Making your bed, putting dirty clothes in a hamper, and putting laundry away is a good way to reset the bedroom.
None of these things take very long to do when we do them consistently. Problems arise when we let things slide and decide not to reset a space or do a certain chore. We tell ourselves it’s fine that we’ll do it later or that it doesn’t matter and that we don’t want to.
Magic Happens When The 3 Ds Work Together
Desire Sets the Vision, Deadlines Spark Action, Discipline Sustains Progress
This headline says it all. Make the 3 Ds work together. Begin with identifying your vision. Clearly understand why you want to organize a space and, further, the reason you’re motivated to maintain the organization.
If there is no external deadline, set one for yourself. Yes. I know if you set a deadline for yourself, you can move the deadline. Consider offering yourself a reward for meeting the deadline.
Lastly, be disciplined in your approach. Ask yourself what will help you stick to what you’ve decided to do. Will it help to post your reason? Remember to congratulate yourself and celebrate every time you do as you’ve said you would.
Start Small, Stay Steady
Small wins build and become big wins.
Start with identifying one small area to change. Decide when you want to have this space completed. Then commit to resetting this space daily.
In conclusion:
Being organized is a lifelong journey, one that is ever changing and filled with ups and downs. Some days it may feel like organizing a tiny drawer is hugely difficult, other days tidying the family room is a snap.
What I can tell you for sure is that each person’s quest for organization is unique. Sometimes even the most strong willed of us need support to figure out our desire, a reasonable deadline, or an accountability partner to stay disciplined. There’s no need for you to do this alone.
As you read this and think about what I’ve written ask yourself which of the three Ds do you want to strengthen right now? I’d be happy to offer you support. Email me to schedule a free 30-minute phone call. diane@dnqsolutions.com
Diane N. Quintana is the owner of DNQ Solutions, LLC. She is an ADHD Organizing Specialist, a Hoarding Specialist, and a Chronic Disorganization Specialist. Diane is also an ICD Master Trainer, Certified Professional Organizer in Chronic Disorganization, Certified Professional Organizer and co-owner of Release Repurpose Reorganize LLC based in Atlanta, Georgia. She specializes in residential and home-office organizing.
