Are you familiar with the expression; We plan, and God laughs? In my way of thinking this expression helps to remind us that nothing in life is certain. We can plan how we want our day to go but you never know if something might get in the way of the plan. One of the many things I love about life is that it can take unexpected turns. Some of those turns are not so great, I admit that. Other turns have been fabulous and have brought me great joy. The things I rely on when life takes an unexpected turn are my strong habits.
Strong habits help me structure my days and give me the flexibility to shift my plans without too much stress or anxiety. Before I moved to Atlanta, I spent many happy summer days on a boat sailing in Long Island Sound. Knowing how to navigate the small sailboat and trim the sails were important skills to stay safe. Strong habits and routines are important to create so they can serve as an anchor during turbulent times.
Why Habits and Routines Matter in Times of Uncertainty
When life goes topsy turvy and you are experiencing a life-changing event like moving to a new home or in with a partner, having a baby, marriage or divorce, or a death, habits and routines ground you by providing stability and predictability.
You reduce decision fatigue because some decisions are automatic. Mental overload is also easier to bear because you have these routines to fall back on.
Following routines that are familiar and continuing to engage in good strong habits puts you back in control of yourself. That’s very important when external circumstances are unpredictable.
4 Key Areas Where Strong Habits Make a Difference
- Morning and Evening Routines: Even when all else is unfamiliar if you stick to your morning and evening routines you bring the familiar into your day. Get up at your regular time and follow your regular morning routine (as much as possible). Practice your usual end-the-day/evening routine also. Bringing a familiar start and end to your day provides structure and a semblance of balance – even when you may be navigating stressful or upsetting times.
- Daily Maintenance Habits: If you haven’t already, develop strong daily maintenance habits. These small daily tasks typically only take a short 10 – 15 minutes to do but they have a huge impact on the overall maintenance of your home.
Everyone’s daily tasks will be different. They typically include things like tidying up, doing laundry, making the bed, and doing dishes. When these little tasks are done regularly, they become strong habits.
- Time Blocking and Scheduling: If you have a habit of planning your day time blocking will help you when your life changes. Switch from planning hours to using time blocks and figuring out what tasks may fit.
Instead of assigning specific times to a task or project, tell yourself that you will pay attention to it after breakfast, in the late morning, right after lunch, or before you start your evening meal. Time blocking gives you an idea of when you will address the task without tying you down to the clock.
This will ensure essential tasks and responsibilities are covered even when things feel chaotic.
- Self-Care and Wellness Practices: Take good care of yourself so you are better able to take care of those you love. Self-care means that you give yourself downtime and do things for yourself that bring you happiness. An example may be to sit with your feet up for 15 minutes or so, reading a book or magazine. That can sometimes be enough to recharge a personal battery.
Wellness practices include getting enough sleep (maintaining your evening routine) and eating nutritionally. Take time to plan your meals. Maintaining these habits helps you manage stress.
Real-Life Examples of Habits Providing Stability
Moving homes is one of the life events that can make everything feel uncertain and overwhelming. I remember when we moved to Singapore everything was unfamiliar. My children were starting a new school, and we were in a foreign country. Maintaining our typical morning and evening routines (as much as possible) helped our family feel more at ease and comfortable.
Grief over losing a loved one is another life-event which throws our lives into chaos. My friend and colleague, Jonda Beattie, shared recently that one thing that helped her when her husband passed away was sticking to her regular daily routine. This provided her with a sense of purpose and balance when everything else in her life was changing.
These are just a few real-life examples to let you know just how beneficial strong habits can be when your life throws you a curve ball.
How to Make Your Routines Stick
Habits and routines do not become automatic and stick all by themselves. As much as we would like to tell ourselves that we will create these strong habits or follow these great routines they will not become part of what we do without intentional practice.
Here are some tips which may help you make habits automatic:
- Practice intentionally
- Write down the sequence of the routine and keep it with you as a reminder
- Reward yourself for working on this, even if you goof now and again
Remember you are not discarding the routines that have worked for you in the past. You are adjusting them to accommodate your change in circumstances. Keep the parts that still work and adapt the others.
Feel free to reach out to schedule a free 30-minute phone consultation if you would like to get personalized help tweaking your routines so they work better for you. You can reach me at dnqsolutions@gmail.com.
Diane N. Quintana is the owner of DNQ Solutions, LLC. She is an ADHD Organizing Specialist, a Hoarding Specialist, and a Chronic Disorganization Specialist. Diane is also an ICD Master Trainer, Certified Professional Organizer in Chronic Disorganization, Certified Professional Organizer and co-owner of Release Repurpose Reorganize LLC based in Atlanta, Georgia. She specializes in residential and home-office organizing.
This was really evocative. Many years ago, when I was working at my first (and very stressful) post-grad school job, I took a few days vacation a friend from grad school in his new city. On the way to meet me, his car broke down, throwing my first evening and our next day’s plans into disorder. When I woke up the next day, he was rushing me to get out of the house to attend to a plan about which I knew nothing. When I explained that I really needed to shower and eat breakfast first, he grumpily (but humorously) called me “inflexible,” something that’s been a joke between us for almost 35 years. But the truth is that sticking to my morning and evening routines is what allows me to face the day and sleep through the night; without them, my mental and physical health go off the rails.
All of these habits you describe are essentials for me keeping my cool: my morning/evening and maintenance routines are the only way I function; departing from those would just add more frustration and uncertainty when uncertain times come to call. And while I don;t excel at self-care and wellness in the traditional sense, I am adamant about maintaining my boundaries. No, I won’t schedule a morning client. No, I won’t agree to work that forces me to miss family across-the-miles TV time. And that has made all the difference during times of live kerfuffles to enable me to be resilient.
Your clients and readers are lucky to be able to bask in your wisdom, Diane!
Julie, Thank you for sharing this story. And, thank you for your lovely complement.
I recently changed a routine I have had for a long time. I started taking a new prescription first thing in the morning and I not supposed to take any other meds/vitamins for many hours after. So I changed the time that I usually take my vitamins from morning to evening. It’s a challenge to remember the change so my vitamins are sitting on my nightstand (out in the open) to remind me. The big benefit I received with this charge is that I am now able to enjoy my morning coffee much more because I’m not concentrating on swallowing all those pills.
That’s great, Janet. I’m so glad you found a way to help yourself remember!
I can attest to this! I wouldn’t have been able to get through 23 days of my husband being hospitalized (in intensive care for some of it) if we didn’t have home and work routines I could follow even when on my own and under stress.
Thank you, Janet!
I am a big fan of creating small habits to help navigate any changes that may happen. I love this post. In my planner, I like to indicate the task and how long it will take. Knowing these recurring tasks well, I know how long it should take. Instead of using a set time, I fit them in throughout the day. As long as I finished the tasks by the end of the day, I was productive. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
It’s great when we know how much time to allocate to certain regular tasks so that we can fit them in here and there instead assigning a specific time to them. Thank you, Sabrina!
It’s funny how often we are “on the same page” with our posts! I couldn’t agree more with the importance of habits in general, and of habits in times of challenge particularly. I know I’ve had times where I felt my habits were the only stable thing in my life. I clung to them as if they were lifelines.
At the same time, we can sometimes feel like keeping up our habits is “silly” in a time of stress, grief, transition, etc. I know I can be tempted by a “why bother?” voice on my shoulder. But the truth is, the why is more about keeping us balanced and grounded than about the actual thing itself.
Also, because habits get deeply ingrained in us, they have a momentum of their own. That is what makes them so awesome. We may maintain habits simply because they are now baked into the way we move through a day. This is why forming GOOD habits is critical, because the bad ones stick just as much.
You are right, Seana. Bad habits can be just as sticky as good ones. Creating good habits and factoring them into routines that work for us is very important.
I love that you mention that new routines must be practiced intentionally. Knowing why you are working on a different routine and intentionally working through it are key to making is stick. Also checking in after a while to see if the routine needs tweaking rather than just giving it up.
Yes, Jonda, it’s easy to give up when something isn’t working. It’s better to push through and figure out what part of the routine or habit doesn’t quite align with the way you work and then tweak it slightly.
The reality is that life is always uncertain. You never know when ‘a something’ is going to happen, like a significant life event, as you described. However, even smaller, unexpected events or requests can derail the day.
I’m with you 100% about establishing certain nourishing habits that can anchor you throughout the day. I love to frontload my morning with the “good stuff.” These grounding habits (meditating, journaling, reading, showering, eating breakfast) help me each day. If the day goes sideways, I have a good base from which to work. And when it’s a great day, these morning habits enhance the positives.
Yes, Linda, even smaller unexpected events can derail the day. I love that you front load your day with nourishing habits so that no matter what happens you’ve had a good start to your day!