As a professional organizer I do lots of listening. You may think that’s strange, but the truth is that to be good at helping someone else organize their belongings you need to know how to listen. I’ll say more about listening in another post. Recently, I’ve been hearing lots of talk about decluttering and stress. People are saying that the idea of decluttering is stressful. I understand. There are many reasons for this. If you are among those who get stressed out at the thought of decluttering this post is for you.
What to Do if Decluttering Is Stressful
Remember, I am not a therapist. I am sharing things here that I have found to be helpful.
The first thing to do if you find yourself getting stressed at the thought of decluttering is step away and actively breathe. Why? Because often when people are feeling stressed, they hold their breath. We all know that breathing is necessary, so start by taking control of that basic function.
You can listen to an App to guide you through some breathing exercises or do this: Breathe in for a count of 4, hold your breath for 4, and slowly breathe out for 4. I sometimes do this with clients if they tell me they are getting anxious.
Things that Make Decluttering Stressful
Unreasonable Expectations: Do you set unreasonable expectations for yourself? Maybe you think that if you have decluttered a space once that it will always be that way?
Solution: Do a daily reset to maintain the space you have decluttered. If you live with other people share the responsibility of resetting the space and tell them how to do that.
Is the Project too Big? Decluttering is stressful when you’re faced with a monumental task.
Solution: Break the project down into the tiniest of steps. This makes it easy to consider and much less stressful.
Is the Timeline too Short? Is your expectation that you will get this decluttering done, along with everything else going on in your life, in an unrealistic amount of time?
Solution: Like the previous question, when you make the timeline realistic and reduce the scope of each step along the way, you remove much of the stress.
You Don’t Know Where to Begin: It is stressful when you don’t have a clear sense of where to begin a decluttering project.
Solution: First think about how you want the room to look. Write it down. Then write down how you want the room to function. Identify the purpose of the room. It may have more than one purpose. Remove the things that do not support the function or contribute to your vision a little bit at a time.
Worrying about Decluttering too Much: is worrying about removing things and regretting it making decluttering stressful for you?
Solution: Ask yourself what is the worst thing that will happen? Maybe you will have to go out and buy the thing again. As The Minimalists say that’s fine if it is a small cost and takes a short time to do. Chances are good that you will not remove a family heirloom or something of a very high value without thinking it through. Give yourself some grace and then review the reasons you are decluttering now.
More Solutions if Decluttering is Stressful
Remove 1 item a day: Challenge yourself to remove 1 thing cluttering your home a day for a week. If that works out for you, extend the challenge to a month. Try not to focus on a particular space or room and just look for things that are in your way (that you don’t need or use) and remove them.
Is decluttering necessary? Is decluttering stressful because you think this is something you must do? What if it isn’t necessary? Do you think you must declutter because your friends are decluttering? Look around your home and determine for yourself if this is something you want to do.
Find a Partner: It can be fun to work on decluttering with a trusted friend or partner. This partner should be non-judgmental, like a trained professional organizer. You can work virtually or in-person. If you’re working with a friend, why not work one day in their home and one day in yours. Turn on some happy, upbeat music, gather your supplies, and get started.
Work for a Reward: Give yourself a reward for decluttering. You may want to have a series of small rewards or just one bigger reward for yourself when the whole job is done. It’s good to have something to look forward to.
Conclusion: If the thought of decluttering your home is stressful for you, turn it around. Decide to think about what you like about your home and then what you want to do to make it even better.
Think in terms of small things.
Can you empty the kitchen sink before you turn in for the night?
Can you do 1 small load of laundry?
Will you wipe down the bathroom counter after you’re finished washing up?
Commit to doing little things around the house on a regular basis to take the stress out of decluttering.
Reach out to me if you’d like to make a personalized plan to help you make decluttering less stressful.
Diane N. Quintana is the owner of DNQ Solutions, LLC. She is an ADHD Organizing Specialist, a Hoarding Specialist, and a Chronic Disorganization Specialist. Diane is also an ICD Master Trainer, Certified Professional Organizer in Chronic Disorganization, Certified Professional Organizer and co-owner of Release Repurpose Reorganize LLC based in Atlanta, Georgia. She specializes in residential and home-office organizing.
