The Evolving Journey of Motherhood
Are you a mom? If you are, Happy Mother’s Day! If you’re not a mom, maybe you are remembering your mother today. I am celebrating Mother’s Day as a mom of two young men and I’m remembering my mom. Being a mother, as everyone knows, is a changing, challenging, and rewarding role. When my children were very young, while I loved them, I couldn’t wait for them to be more independent. Then as they grew more independent, I looked back fondly at the times they were eager to hold my hand. Motherhood is an evolving journey. The older I get, the more I wish I could still sit down with my mother and learn from her experience. Today I want to share some reflections on my journey.
Mothering Young Children
If you are a mother of young children, you are probably learning a lot about managing time. Maybe you work from home or go to a job. Doing your work in addition to managing childcare with your partner and finding time to give to your relationships (your partner, parents, and friends) is a juggling act.
When my boys were little, I was also coordinating visits with grandparents. Luckily everyone lived within driving distance. I sometimes felt like the middle of a triple-layer sandwich, caring for my mother, my husband, and my children.
There are days when nothing goes the way we planned. The children may be fighting, they may not like the meals we planned (and then what do we do? Do we become a short-order cook?), and maybe the children don’t take their naps (as planned) so we can’t do the things we planned to do when we knew the children were settled. The days when something like this happens feel like they are 36 or 48 hours long.
Parenting little children is an intense time and it’s a time to celebrate all of the firsts; the first step, the first word, the first time the baby sleeps through the night. And then there all of those snuggles. This is the first role we as mothers take on in this evolving journey of motherhood.
Parenting Young Adults
When my boys were young it seemed on the one hand as if time was moving in slow motion and then all of a sudden, they were teenagers asking for the key to the car. My role as mom changed. I was less of a hands-on caregiver and more of a sounding board and drill sargeant.
Watching these babies change, grow, and mature means we watch them grow up and away. While that may be a bit bittersweet, it means we’ve done a good job.
The Grandparent Years: A New Perspective
Now that I’m a grandmother and one of my sons has two children, my husband and I have the great joy of watching our child become a parent. Of course, there are times when I want to share advice and then I think about how I felt when my mother wanted me to parent differently.
New technology and changing philosophies mean that some things are handled very differently.
We don’t live near our grandchildren, but we see them on video chats which makes the distance feel less.
As a grandmother, I appreciate how hard parenting little children is. What I want to share here, though, is that I’m still a mom.
Grandparenting is just another segment of the ever-evolving journey of motherhood. This part of the journey lets me enjoy and appreciate my children as the thoughtful adults they have grown up to be.
Conclusion: A Mother’s Love, Timeless and Transforming
I always knew I wanted to be a mom. There is no way to explain the depth of love a parent (specifically here – a mother) has for their children. No matter how old they are, they are still your children. I love my sons endlessly.
There are so many parts to this evolving journey of motherhood. It’s important to appreciate each one of them for what they are – a moment in time.
I want to leave you with this quote from Jill Churchill. She said, “There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one.”
Wherever you are on this journey, I celebrate with you today.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Diane N. Quintana is the owner of DNQ Solutions, LLC. She is an ADHD Organizing Specialist, a Hoarding Specialist, and a Chronic Disorganization Specialist. Diane is also an ICD Master Trainer, Certified Professional Organizer in Chronic Disorganization, Certified Professional Organizer and co-owner of Release Repurpose Reorganize LLC based in Atlanta, Georgia. She specializes in residential and home-office organizing.
Thank you for writing this. As a mother and grandmother, I certainly could relate. Our roll as mother is a constantly evolving one but it is all good.
Thank you!
Wow, you’ve summed it up so concisely! I.ve been blessed with two wonderful stepsons and four sweet grandchildren, and it’s been an amazing journey.
I’m so happy for you, Janet! It is an amazing journey!
What a beautiful tribute to moms, to parenting, and to the complexities of motherhood!
Becoming a mom gave me a new appreciation for my parents. It’s not that I didn’t appreciate them, but it gave me a different perspective. They were very encouraging as my husband and I navigated raising our kids. And as the saying goes, “It takes a village.” I was so grateful we lived relatively close to them, my in-laws, and our siblings. Our kids grew up with family as a central part of their lives. And as my siblings and I had kids, the cousins became a new generation of family. They’ve remained close, which makes me so happy.
I loved and continue to love every stage of being a parent. Those early days were precious as we nutured and watched our daughters come into their own, learn how to communicate, move, and grow. As they developed more agency and autonomy, we watched them do more for themselves and pursue activities and learing that excited them. And now as young adults, we continue to marvel at the amazing people they have become. We’re not as involved in their day-to-day lives, but are deeply connected and supportive of who they are and what’s meaningful to them.
This past weekend, we got to spend time together. Precious time indeed, and I loved every moment.
I love the photo you shared of you with your son and grandkids. What a beautiful family! Happy Belated Mother’s Day!
You are so lucky to spend time with your family, Linda! It is indeed precious time.
I am in the “parents of young adults” stage. It is a challenging stage in some ways, because although there is a lessened daily demand, there is still an “on call” responsibility. It’s a transition time, I think, for me to learn how to step back and become more of a cheerleader. It’s also been the season of wedding planning, which takes a fair bit of organization!
I do not know if the grandparent stage will happen. We’ve had some loss on that front. As you point out, it is so important to appreciate whatever stage you are in, and not long for others. I try to find the joy of today.
Beautiful post. Love that family photo! What a blessing. :)
Oh Seana, thank you for your comment. I love that you are paying attention to and finding the joy in each day.