When I talk about the concept of time, I often say that time is more valuable than money. Why is that? Well, because time just marches on. We can’t stop it, save it, or earn more of it. Each of us receives the same gift of twenty-four hours every day. Often, we spend our time thinking about the past or worrying about the future instead of enjoying the present day. I know I am guilty of this. What will happen if we think about time differently? Can we think about it as a gift that each of us receives when we open our eyes? Here’s a quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt that puts this thought succinctly. “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift—that’s why it’s called the present.” It is so true. The present is a gift.
Let’s consider the ways the present is a gift
The Present Is Valuable
I often hear people say that it’s best to “live in the moment”. Have you ever heard this comment? It’s difficult for me to do sometimes because I am a planner and preparer. I have been known to pass up a fun event or gathering because I had planned to do something else during that time. This works for me. For me, knowing that I am making the best use of my available time makes me feel as if I am in control.
Everyone defines the best use of time differently. For someone else, the best use of their available time may be to drop everything and engage in a fun event or gathering.
Let’s talk about a different scenario:
Picture yourself at a children’s play or concert. You are there to watch your child or grandchild participate. Their group comes up on the stage and you suddenly decide to record this event on your phone. You pull your phone out of your pocket and fumble around with the settings. Then you hear applause.
Uh, oh. You have missed the performance you came to watch. The group is walking off the stage.
Next time do this differently. Instead of trying to save the moment to enjoy again and again, just be present. Sit in the crowd and share the joy of watching someone you care about participate in an event.
Here is another scenario:
You’re having a conversation with a friend. They are sharing something with you. It could be something about the weather or a concern they have. You have two choices. You can pay attention, be present, and actively listen to your friend, or you can use the time they are talking to craft your response. What do you do?
It is important to pay attention so that you pick up on the nuances in what they are sharing. When you are actively listening, you hear changes in the tone of voice, differences in the speed with which they are talking, and (if you are in-person or on a video call) you see changes in their facial expression. You may not notice all these things if you are busy inside your own mind.
This quote from Eckhart Tolle emphasizes the value in the moment.
“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have.”
The Pitfalls of Dwelling on the Past or Future
One day years ago when my son, Alex, had recently received his driver’s license I found a fabulous greeting card. It is by the artist, Mary Engelbreit. I still have it posted on my bulletin board because it speaks to me even now. It says, “Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, it empties today of its strength.” I can’t even begin to count the number of hours I spent worrying about his driving. He is a safe driver, and I worried needlessly.
If you are a worrier, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Spending your valuable time revisiting conversations or predicting disaster as you anticipate something in your future takes time away from what you want to be doing now.
These are rabbit holes that when you travel down into them take tremendous amounts of energy and willpower to climb out of.
For me, I will sometimes waste my time revisiting conversations. I think about the way I said something and wish I had phrased it differently or not made any comment at all. There is always a better way to say or do something but since none of us is perfect we make mistakes.
Of course, when I realize I’ve said something I should not have, I apologize. I’m sure you do, too.
The worst thing that could happen
Here is an exercise you can do, if predicting horrible future outcomes is a rabbit hole you travel down.
If you find yourself catastrophizing, predicting the worst possible outcome of something in the future, get out a piece of paper and write the outcome down. Then write down the consequence, and how realistic it is. This may help you climb out of the rabbit hole and let you focus your valuable time on something else.
Strategies for Being in the Present
In her book, Life in Five Senses, Gretchen Rubin devotes time to exploring the five senses. One by one, Ms. Rubin explores each of the senses. What she found is that when we pay attention to one sense our awareness of it is heightened.
I believe that when we pay attention to the things in which we are engaged we value the experience more.
Here are 3 strategies to incorporate as you practice being in the now
Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness by tuning into your breathing. Take a couple of minutes every morning and evening to notice your breath. Notice the rise and fall of your chest. Pay attention to filling your lungs with air and then emptying them. This is a calming exercise and helps to focus your attention.
Practice Gratitude: Do you keep a journal? If you do, try ending each day by writing down three positive things that happened to you and three positive things you did. It can be something as simple as holding a door for a stranger, letting someone have your parking space, or greeting a neighbor.
If you don’t keep a journal now, consider starting one.
Avoid multi-tasking: Focus your attention on one thing at a time. You will be more productive this way and you will do whatever it is you’re doing better.
A final tip is to disconnect from electronic devices. Avoid screens during mealtimes. Focus your attention on the taste of the food. Also, separate yourself from electronics before bed. You’ll sleep better.
How to Make the Present a Gift to Yourself
It’s important to schedule time for self-care into your plan. Just think about the oxygen mask on an airplane. The directions are always ‘put your mask on first and then help the person next to you.’
This will mean different things to all of us. For me, it may be taking a walk in the woods with my dog, doing some gardening, doing some needlework, or spending an hour reading a book.
For someone else, self-care may be an interesting class.
This gift of time doesn’t need to be lengthy, nor does it need to be something you do only for yourself. It may be something as simple as reading with your children. This benefits everyone since being actively present with them gives all of you an opportunity to share quality bonding time.
Short conversations in the car can be equally meaningful. I remember sharing many good conversations with my sons when I drove them here and there around town. They learned about things I was doing or interested in, and I learned about their day.
Deciding to focus on what’s happening now lets you release the thoughts of things you should be doing. This is not to say that an errand or chore you forgot to do won’t cross your mind but hopefully with practice you can put those thoughts aside and focus on engaging in what’s happening now.
Conclusion:
When we treat time as a gift, we may more fully engage in the present. As I said earlier on in this post, I am a planner and preparer. Having said that, I acknowledge that in the past I would worry about whether my plan was going to be good enough. I have learned that taking time to plan and prepare is fabulous and to let the event unfold knowing that I have done everything in my power to make it successful. This way I participate in the event and enjoy it as it is happening.
What can you do differently to more fully engage in the present?
Diane N. Quintana is the owner of DNQ Solutions, LLC. She is an ADHD Organizing Specialist, a Hoarding Specialist, and a Chronic Disorganization Specialist. Diane is also an ICD Master Trainer, Certified Professional Organizer in Chronic Disorganization, Certified Professional Organizer and co-owner of Release Repurpose Reorganize LLC based in Atlanta, Georgia. She specializes in residential and home-office organizing.
